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Wednesday, April 16, 2014

The Mire

When it looks like things only change when they change for the worse.

When armed men can visit a boarding school at night and for six hours, like on a leisurely shopping trip, pick and choose over 1oo young girls that meet their liking and take them away, and nothing happens.

When thousands of people die and all your ‘leaders’ do is condole and condemn and sling mud and throw parties.

When you are reminded you can have no hope in this system-of-no-system, nor in the people that run it.

When you feel as in control as a chess piece; like it could have easily been you, like this could easily have been Oshodi or Obalende or Ajah.

When you start to wonder if that person was right when he said God has moved on from Nigeria; because you have been praying, and you have been believing, and still it goes on.

When you accept that you will never know their names, or their faces, their dreams or their struggles. All you will remember are the pieces of mangled flesh that you quickly scroll past on Twitter and Facebook, swearing at the posters, cursing at the world.

When you start to understand why so many have run, why even now they are crossing deserts and saying marriage vows and stowing themselves away on ships just to get away from here; when you want to get away yourself.

When the big things in your life become as significant as a grain of sand on a beach; when you feel small, helpless.

When you find yourself learning to live with the weight that has settled in your chest.

Then you ask yourself: what’s the point, of this post, of this blog, of these very words? How do they stop the next bomb from going off, the next life from being cut short, the next schoolgirl from being taken?

But that’s the thing.

They don’t.

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This morning I came across this scripture in Luke 18: 7-8: 'And will not [our just] God defend and protect and avenge His elect (His chosen ones), who cry to Him day and night? Will He defer them and delay help on their behalf? I tell you, He will defend and protect and avenge them speedily...' (AMP).

This gives me some measure of comfort; the hope that, even though I cannot imagine it now, someday all of this will make sense. 

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